randomathic

Oops. Its been some time since I last posted here. As usual, everything is revolving at breakneck speed, but its been a great time all the same.

So much has happened since what has last happened; and God's grace is amazingly evident throughout this period of time. I had many people voicing their concern about my previous posts. I thank you for your concern and I'd like to assure you that things have been very sorted out =) Like I told a close pal, I needed the space to indulge in some form of expression, and this blog has served its purpose hard and well.

I remember sitting in church one Sunday, with a million thoughts crossing my mind as my pastor preached on God's message. The call for us was to be effective tools and ministers of God in our marketplace (i.e. workplace). As such, we were going through a series of studies that would prepare us in our aim to be a worthy messenger.

As I was listening, I was reflecting and constantly asking myself how I could just do that. In a business world where most people would fall into the trap of underhand means just to secure deals and earn quick bucks, it seems a necessary evil to practice secular measures to ensure survival. I remember the days as a management student, where I read that the biggest objective of any business entity as "profit making". How then, could we strike a balance between ethical practices and practical measures?

Let me qualify. Im blessed to work with a group of God loving, God fearing people. I must say that this is not an uphill struggle as far as I am concerned. Still, I felt God's prompting for a change...

And so it was a pleasant surprise to have my towkay mention on a Monday morning about the introduction of devotional studies during work. In fact, he had called me on the very same Sunday after my service to hear from me. God works in amazing ways!

I often feel like Im living as a defeated believer. Of late, a simple dinner resulted in an accident that saw me losing my cool and blowing up at a stall owner. Apparently, the slow me had already finished two bowls of rice and my herbal soup. My mom, who had ordered way before me, was still waiting for her food.

No excuses, but this was why I was so mad...

1) My mom was extremely hungry
2) The stall owner was extremely rude in his dealings and at no occasion offered any apology.

So I blew and cursed them silly. Needless to say, I got a scolding from my mom as well. As I reflected, I realised that there was this strong sense of injustice and hatred in me. At times, I do feel that the feelings are so intense that I imagined myself doing the unthinkable.

So that is just me. I have a strong tendency against injustice and unfairness. It freaks me out to think that I could be capable of harboring such intense levels of hated and dislike for some.

Leon puts it rightly when he quotes :"If you hate someone, you have already committed murder in your heart."

I still think I need help....while I can still deal with such incidences in my life without going berserk. And then again its amazing how God has blessed me with so many people who have partnered me in my journey to become a better person.

And yes, the Chinese medicine I have been taking knocks me out on time and puts a full stop to my gastric pains for the time being. All the bitter medicine and the increase in the fold lines on my face is well worth it! Thanksssss SCKW =)

And no, my aircond is still NOT OK. Thats another incident that really challenged me, but Im thankful for the ability to stay calm and resolve the issue in an appropriate manner.

Adieu. Please do not work till you drop --> Read TNP yet?