hello may. goodbye april

I'm simply typing this before working on a bunch of articles. With a frozen brain that is low on ideas and equally distracted by the time showing on the bottom right hand corner of the screen, its impossible to come up with any quality work right now. Nonetheless I'm writing this to gear up and hopefully at least plan the article or even invest quality thought on it.

I'm remotely thankful that tomorrow's a public holiday- that's just one more day of rest and attending to what needs to be done. Attending to what needs to be done these days seems more like an never-ending goal that I am still trying to fulfill. The later part of Tuesday was spent running around the entire island. But I did manage to submit my application for school, and the results should be made known by mid-may! The day ended with a meeting that ended at 12.30am. Good grief.

I should say that I am experiencing God in a very evident manner of late - the way of which everything seemed to fall into place is by no means a series of unplanned coincidences. So thank you Lord for taking care of these details (: And of course, a great thanks to all those who've heard my ramblings and have prayed for me.

Speaking of which I have been very challenged in the area of patience. One committee in which I am serving in requires me (or rather, us) to deal with a lady who isn't exactly the nicest of people. From my personal perspective, her fickle mindedness and inability to commit has brought forth much uncertainty and perhaps a certain degree of frustration to some of us. Notwithstanding I reckon its an opportunity for me to really trust and wait upon God for this; that His sovereignty holds.

Call it my hunch or what, I've a feeling I will learn loads about trusting God in the months to come, when I officially transit from the working world back into the life of a student.

I just realised the spell check isn't working because I discovered three typos earlier on and they weren't underlined in red as usual. They've been taken care of, so you shouldn't be spotting any from now (:

I am SO LOOKING FORWARD to the weekend and the outing to Marina Barage!

fras <--that's my fifth un-official nickname I've been referred to of late (:

With a little help from my friends

What would you think if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key

Oh, I get by (the crazy day) with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high (doubling over in laughter) with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try (and be a better person) with a little help from my friends

And so indeed I got by the day with help from my dear friends, and of course God. I can't help but confess my off key mode over the past few days. Thanks for not walking out on me.

In particular, I was blessed with Psalms 27 and Psalms 28:

27:4
One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

27:14
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

28:7
The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to him in song.

Im posting this here- and may this be a timely reminder for me always. Indeed, I've got son-shine, in my every-day!

Thanks folks. You're a great bunch indeed. (:

i am going bonkers

I am going bonkers i am going bonkers I am going bonkers I am so going bonkers.

I have become so tired and I cant even sleep well anymore.

I'm sure every nanometre of what lies around me knows what I really don't like to do what I have to do now. There's so much work to do and there's so little time left. And I cannot OT because I have an important appointment later.

The days are getting draggy my patience is running shorter, and I feel like a time bomb approaching the nearing end.

UGH!

random weekend ramblings

I am better, I felt. Or so I thought when I woke up early on a Saturday with a sense of purpose and expectancy.

It was one of those rare occasions where I could finally have breakfast with mom (Leon was unwell with a sore throat and high fever) and so we decided to take a walk down to the market to have some kway chap for breakfast. As we walked along, I dismissed the sharp pains in my stomach as the gastric acting up, and I assumed that it'll go once I had something to eat.

God knows how torturing it can be to sweat buckets because of the sheer pain. Our lovely breakfast date was punctuated, and eventually cut short by my frequent visits to the dumping ground. I should be awarded a Public Service Medal for the amount of seats I wiped clean with my own toilet tissue and for making the effort to flush properly.

I never loved my clean toilet and endless supply of toilet rolls more than before. And so after some time, we put it down to the tofu that tasted sour on Friday night. Being the only family member who ate it and the only one who suffered an extremely bad stomach, it wasn't that hard to figure the sad reasons behind my predicament. Just when I thought the worse was over, the alarm bells sounded as I was nearing church on saturday. It would be quite a sight to review the CCTV recordings of me running at top speed towards the loo.

The weather has really been trying and I am really thankful that it rained today. It was such a relief and I wasted no time in wasting it by sleeping in. It was all hot and muggy when I woke up, and thats the reason why Im awake typing all these when I should be asleep.

Finally, Im gonna register for school on Tuesday while attending the open house. I am both excited and nervous. I could shrug off exams, tutorials and presentations of the past, and they're literally my future right now. I guess all that matters is that I focus and do my best- but its all easier said than done!

Im quite tired right now, and a restful week's all that I look forward to right now- and I pray for a equally peaceful week for all of you!

peace,
noed resarf

the longest friday

I can't believe it. Two posts in a day!

This has got to be the longest work week ever. Blame it on my fever- it begun with a headache on Friday that won't go away, amplified by the crazy weather on Saturday. And I was ultra sleepy on Sunday.

And so on Monday Mr Gastrics decided to pay me a visit- and I was curled up in a ball trying to ignore the pain in my tummy at the wee hours of Tuesday morning. I dragged my zombified body to the polyclinic, and put myself at risk of getting flu.

This has to be the draggiest fever though. I'm just thankful that it didn't explode above thirty-eight, and it kept me sleeping early for the past few days. 6.30pm feels like the end of the day for me, literally. I'm still aching all over and I do hope that this fever spell goes away soon.

Mr Toshiba has been keeping my family cool for the past few nights. Good grief- my air con is actually cool even with it set to twenty nine degrees. I'm glad I was able to sleep much better later on without it- all it had to do was to bring down the room temperature comfortably enough!

And so this is the end of a crazy, turbulent week. Ive never felt so hungry and cranky before in years. Add to that my emotional roller coaster ride, and you could say that it is indeed a memorable week.

There's always a silver lining though. I am grateful for God's faithfulness- and I believe that it was by His empowerment that I lasted through the week. Needless to say I am also heartened by those around me who have made this week less painful. Thank God for all of you!

wishing and hoping,
noed resarf.

psst.

dear you,

I found myself on the wrong train. I boarded this train-feeling full of confidence and emotions which I thought would bring me safely to my destination- being your pride and joy, being your pillar of support, someone you could talk to and count on emotionally, spiritually, just as I would have found my solace in you.

Unfortunately dreams aren't the best source of fuel that hauls the trains across. I guess that is what's severely lacking in this case.

Forgive my fragile heart, and those incidences where I may have misled you, caused you much misery, or even given you the wrong impression. That's good enough to offset all the nights I spent thinking about you, attempts to strike a conversation with you, or even try not to show my nervousness in front of you.

Today, I have decided to alight this train. It sure did not lead me to my choice destination, but I am not wallowing in regret. If anything, I shall treasure those rare moments we got to know each other better. Thats a major consolation.

Let me not cross the platform and board the train that brings me back to where it all started. Let me just sit along the platform for the time being. Granted unless you are the right one for me, it remains best that I spend some time here, until the time is right.

okay?

its the 6th of april

and so this date marks the beginning of yet another work week.

Sunday night was the first time in years I knocked out early, and really fell asleep within seconds of hitting the bed. Truth is, I haven't had this kind of feeling for a very long time, and I'm glad to have woken up on a monday morning feeling refreshed, albeit reluctantly so!

That wouldn't have been a surprise considering how I spent my weekends:

Sat morning: Reccee for my church's YA retreat

Sat evening: YA BBQ! 

Sun morning: the usual sunday service, but with an added twist as part of the worship band that needed to come early.

There were two ongoing rehearsals after the service on Sunday, and I am so grateful to Arthur for taking over to facilitate the rehearsal for the skit to be performed on Good Friday, and to Andy and Candy for staying back and accompanying me for the rehearsal that lasted till 6pm. Thankfully I had friday to rest, and with this being a short week, I'm sure it won't be that difficult to manage. (:

I wasn't in the best of mood on Saturday, but the BBQ really perked up my spirits. I guess you could call it the highlight of the day! Kudos to Christine, Sarah, Samuel, Daniel and Shirley for their selfless efforts in organising this event. Our satisfaction is evident through the smile on our faces:

 

and thats me with a very bad hair day, and that explains the cap:

On a separate note, I just learnt that my dad has lost (or rather, experienced a loss) his hearing- and what can help him are hearing aids. In his brief letter to us yesterday, he also mentioned the potential loss of his job this year.

I'm lost for words right now. After almost a decade of him out of our lives and after picking up the pieces and moving on with my life, I'm not even sure how I should react to this. I'm not sure how I would react if I met him somewhere. I do, to a certain extent, feel sorry for him. But as much as I do, I know that its all in the hands of God- and in control.

me,

fraser

there is always more to it than meets the eye...

(that's all of us at our third and most successful group shot for the night. And no, my eyes are not THAT small =p )

Ok I confess. Planning surprise birthday bashes is certainly not my area of expertise, or profession.

The brief was simple: to stage a surprise party for W and S. W is not supposed to know about the party at all. S knows of the party to be for W only. She does not know that we have a surprise in store for her, too!

It was pure madness right from the start. W spotted S, and spotted J and D soon after. That's like three out of the six "committee members". How splendid.

We had a really fun time hiding from W and his girlfriend, who happened to be part of the committee as well. To think that we had to spy at them across the street! The best part was that W innocently suggested a change of place to eat dinner. So, poor S (having been spotted by W earlier) had to queue up for a table for seven at Ichiban's. That's no easy feat and the poor lady stood in line for close to an hour! ):

Out of sheer desperation we had to attend to our hungry tummies by then, and fortunately, were able to get the couple down to where we were to present the surprise. It was at this moment that S realised that we haven't forgotten her at all (:

What a crazy night! Happy birthday, folks.

eardrops

Thank God for ear drops, especially those that work.

Out of sheer desperation to end my pain and misery, I invested in a small bottle of magic solutions that claims to "soften ear waxes for easy removal". Complete with an ingenious drip that makes the recommended dosage of ten drops possible, it's indeed an unassuming package, with absolutely nothing to hint of the wonders it could have done for me.

For one I wasn't even certain that it would help- I was just taking this gamble on the pure assumption that it was something in the ear I had to clear, and not any underlying ear problem that I needed to seek medical help for.

And so I applied the ear drops, obediently stayed in position for five minutes as instructed, and resumed normal position in 6 minutes.

All the solution came out. Not what I've been wanting to clear, but the ten drops of liquid I placed in my ear. Thinking that it would need time to work, I tried to go to sleep.

It didn't work. Blame it on recurring insomnia problems or what, I just could get to sleep-it was a night of turning and tossing. At 2am, I had enough. I woke up, and applied another ten drops of the said solution in my ear.

At 3.30am it occurred to me that I could have been causing myself more harm by exceeding the dosage. Although there was no mention of any possible harm caused by overuse, I did recall seeing something about the product having a certain degree of side effect. And worse, the solution didn't come out when I flipped my head around this time round.

I am so in trouble, or so I thought. The incessant pain and crackling sounds in my ear made it impossible for me to sleep. I remember fervently praying and asking the Lord for mercy and not to take my hearing away. And throughout the entire sleepless night I was snapping my fingers to make sure I could still hear ):

And for those who're wondering why I am so sleepy today, you'd have a better idea now.

Fast forward to 8am and I drag my reluctant frame out of the bed, grab the ear digger and aim for that obstruction in the depths of my ear canal. You can imagine how relieved I was when I excavated tons of rubbish from that ear canal of mine. And almost instantly my hearing on the left ear was restored!

What remains to be fixed is the right ear, and I'm so looking forward to see to it the moment I get home. I'm certain I can go underwater with confidence now.

(: noed resarf