arigato

A big Thank You goes out to all of you who have put things into perspective these days and in your own way, journeyed with me in a personal manner...I am truly appreciative and I thank God for you.

Its been a few hours since I last received the news and I am feeling peaceful already.

=x

Lightning does strike the same place twice.

Just as I thought everything would be Ok and cool down, I was literally struck again...

I'm in a pretty messed up state right now, with yet another issue to grapple with. I just wonder if there's any end to it. God, is this your sign for me? Grant me your wisdom so that I may understand..

Right now, I will just accept the truth and be forward looking to see how I can address the issue. Right now, I can only be thankful for my colleagues who have really extended their tangible helping hand in times of this.

I need to be still and trust in Him..this is what I identify as a big stone that could cause me to stumble..

Perhaps things are going on like this for the sake of the "big picture"

God, if you will, please show and guide me along.

Please Help Me

A friend of mine once mentioned that he knew that "time was up" if he had to drag his feet to work everyday.

Although I am still far from "dragging" my feet to work...Lord, please please show me your will. Am I the misaligned one??

O God, wont you just say something or show me something so that your Will will be revealed to me...

I shall try to be still and know that You are God.

my weary soul.

I so didnt need that. Blogger asked me to migrate my old blogger account into a Google account. This just sums up a perfectly not so perfect day in my life. I am really tired (my eyes are closing) as I type this, but heck.

This is my personal blog. I think it is time I have to come clean with certain things I have felt in my heart. Its pointless keeping a blog if I cant even be honest with myself.

Work hasnt been good for me. I noticed that I've slipped into what Econs describes as the LDMR...the law of diminishing marginal returns. If I had ever hit the peak of my performance, that is.

I've been really troubled by my less then ideal performance at work weekly. I shall make no attempt to hide the fact that I havent been efficient. Worse still, Im a non efficient workaholic...I stay late or work during the weekends, yet remain counterproductive. Things have not been going smooth, and I do feel that fingers are pointing in my direction.

Am I really such a bad employee where I am now?

Its hard for me to really answer this question myself. My only saving grace is a boss who still believes in me ( I guess), and God who feels the anguish in my heart even as I type this.

I joined the company to challenge myself and to hone my talents, and hidden talents. Yet, part of me secretly craves for a job that's not desk bound, not 9-6. Part of me wants to slip into my jeans and tees, (I feel really more confident in that), and part of me really wants to just run around and pursuing my passion. Never mind the sunburn, the aching arms, and the sweat.

Yet again, I am thankful where I am. I see this an given opportunity, and another part of me feels that I have much to give to this company, and look back seeing how much we have grown and beat the odds. I want my boss to know that he has made the right choice...in taking a gamble and proving him right.

Yet I feel so discouraged. A lonely soul on the L4, -. A soul who's feeling detached and losing touch with the good old folks...a soul who feels insignificant. Nothing. At times, I miss the times where we were.

I cant be a hypocrite and try to smile through the changes as if I don't give a damn about the progresses.

Am I in the right place? In an organisation where them others are well versed in the right ways, I do feel left out. I dont participate in such related affairs since I dont know much. I feel overburdened. I feel attacked at times.

Screw me.

Im so lost and discouraged right now that I wanna cry and just drop everything. Yet, a part of me struggles knowing that there is a bigger picture. But how long and how can I hold on?

Those who are meant to read this will read this.

I have nothing to be cheerful about.

Underproductive

I feel so underproductive today...

It seems that I always have a problem doing proper work on Mondays...When will I ever learn how to sleep well on Sunday evenings so that I'd be efficient on Mondays?

I really had enough of this...Its frustrating that my brains wake up only in the evening and late night. If I stay up late to finish all my work, I'd probably wont have enough physical rest to report to work on time tomorrow..

And if I try to sleep by 11pm, my brain literally yells at me to be doing something else, to be waking up and refusing to let me sleep.

Looks like I've reached the end of the road now..I really need a fix for this. Wont you just help me, O Lord?

I want to well rested and productive in all I do. I want to kill that eyerings that now lie under my eyes. I dont want to behave like a zombie on the train I take to work...

I shall try anyway.

God help me!

Heh

Thats too many posts for a day. Blogging overspill.

experience_sound

I've officially unveiled my 1st hifi blog.

Visit it at http://experiencesound.blogspot.com/

For all you sound lovers out there, be sure to input your comments so that I can learn from you all as well! :)

08042007

I realised that Singaporeans are, in general, nice people after all.

As opposed to news articles of seemingly inconsiderate individuals who refuse to give up their seats to those who needed them more, it was a real sweet feeling to experience two incidents that was indeed heartwarming.

Two individuals gave up their seats to an elderly gentlemen and a physically challenged lady in the same journey. There was no hesitation- the smile and expression of gratitude of the elderly folks was akin to a megawatt bulb.

Why am I bringing this up? I think we had enough of concentrating on the unpleasant things around us. This incident has shown that there are still people who are selfless. Their attitudes are indeed laudable.

Blame me for being an optimist, but I do feel that it is only when you focus on the positive that you can be at peace with yourself.How can you ever be happy if your thoughts are filled with negative notions?

You cant be nice to anyone if your thoughts are always of the negative and hawkish nature.I choose to focus on the good things and remind myself that this world still has some credibility to it.

Geez, this is such perfect irony for a self professed worrier like myself.

I had a whale of a time catching up with my boss on a lovely Saturday noon. We met for lunch and shopping thereafter (for the office, please). It amazes and inspires me how much my effort my boss invests in the development of those working with him (me included). We had a great time chatting about the exciting plans ahead, and wiring up the office. The place looks real sweet now.

I wonder how God saw it fit that I deserve such divine love, that manifests itself through my job, those I work with, and my lovely bunch of friends, and my family. Indeed I am blessed!

Now thats what the Bible means when it says : "Count your Blessings!"

A good day

It is a good day today.

For some unexplained reason, I do feel happy today despite the crazy sunshine, besides the fact that my good old gastric friend has decided to come back to me. I guess it must be the joy of the Lord that's working in me!

For the first time in my life, I chipped in for the family expenses. It isnt a big amount, but I do feel that its a good habit to start with. But on the other hand, it just means that I'd probably be turning more of the aircon these days. Heh.

I just had a chat with Sir Fergurson recently about some hifi stuff. He then asked me to consider starting a hifi blog. I was a little taken aback then, as it wasnt the first time that someone asked me to consider starting a blog of that nature.

Well, given my limited knowledge of such stuff, I do hope that the blog will serve as a venue for people to exchange ideas and knowledge. No, I do not have a fantastic sounding system yet!

Here it is. experiencesound.blogspot.com. But hang on first, there are no posts up for the time being. As time comes, I hope to move on from a blog to a forum.

Sir Ferguson, you've certainly rekindled that old love once more. Pal, do yourself a favor and pick up this month's copy of What Hifi!

On another hand, Good Friday is nearing the corner, and I wish all of my readers a blessed Good Friday..may the Love of God touch your heart.

2nd April 2007

Its been such a looong time since I last posted anything up here. Its almost shocking to look back on this page and realise that it was,once upon a time, an adobe where I would religiously invest time and effort in.

Well, then again, maybe not.

Three amazing months have passed. In case you're wondering, my light is finally up and in good working order..no more mini explosions in my room. Its better having a light that lights up the room. Just enough light for my feet to walk on, I guess.

Speaking of which, I am tempted to draw a biblical line between the room light and God's light in my life. Just as I stumbled and tripped over furniture, or even felt awkward without the presence of light, the past few months have shown me how more important it is to be living in the Light of God.

Of late, I've been blessed with many helpful souls in the office. That said, we've finally expanded (all glory be to God) and I am truly blessed to be with a company (noticed I said with, not working for) that is truly full of talented people, many of which are superstars in their own right. I am glad to have been able to work with each and every one of them, and to have learnt more abt myself.

Shan is brimming with energy. Its amazing how she can upkeep the lively atmosphere, and that chases the bad blues away. Qixiang is a talent in the making, and an absolutely great pal to yak with. Weizheng is a focused and determined lady, and Im glad that she remains positive in spite of what happened. Joane is frank, yet displays the attitude to learn and never fails to lend a helping hand.

God certainly has, on several occasions, taught me how important it is for me to lean on His strength and providence for my daily life. The perpetually non-stop me overworked on my own confines and yeah..suffered quite a bad burn out lately. I literally cried unto Him, and His mercy and grace was evident.

Even as I was sharing my testimony yesterday, I could see how beautifully God has made things. I was late, but early enough to get some stuff that the PA team needed. I was late,but the item came just as it was needed.I was late, but I waltzed in minutes before my 5 minutes of air time.

Then of course, I totally ditched my script and spoke from my heart. Who needs a script when its the truth you are telling? I felt truly blessed as I looked out at the sea of people seated before me. The countenance on their faces told me that I was making sense.

To God be the glory! I've seen how much my life has been transformed.

Of which, Im intending to start a hifi blog. I dont know alot, but then again, thats what learning is for, isnt it?