endless timeline

Ahh...the joys of a HUGE blower..for once, my cell group wont have to suffer the heat when they come over :)

Today's date is 3rd July 2006. Goodness gracious..its been a month since I last updated this blog! Time goes so fast without realising it. 3rd Quarter 2006 will arrive faster than I anticipated.

I'm penning down these thoughts after recuperating from my three day retreat session out of Singapore. Work has been certainly fast paced-I've find it hard even to update this spot on a regular basis. Once again, I earned myself a change in job scope and I find myself busier than before. OT seems more of a norm then ever, common were the days I'd reach home at 9-10pm before heading off to work early tomorrow.

I thank God for the growing friendship between Daniel, Melvin and the rest of the folks and myself. These guys keep me going, and through helping each other out in times of need, I see this interesting dimension of work that you'd never experience without friendship.

Almost three months have come and gone. While I am comtemplating to stay on to this job, yet considering other avenues to explore, one thing is for certain. By God's mercy and grace, I have managed to stay on to this job till the end of the contract. If you'd read my earlier posts, I prayed that God would help me to fulfill my current contract and beyond.

Over the last month, I've made mistakes, nearly gotten people into hot soup (including myself) and drifted in and out of plain boredom and excitement. On the day before my break, I encountered a really nasty person. While I was kinda upset with the way things turned out, I was initially more upset with how some folks reaction when they learnt of it..oh well *shrugs**

Planning for the retreat certainly helped to keep my mind off most negative thoughts of things I've ecountered at work. It was my first attempt serving in such an area, but i have had the honor of working with a marvellous team. Faced with the "unknown" factor (the campsite was new, and the reccee didnt help much, a certain degree of challenge and excitement formed. The big day was on Fri, and we only got the stuff on thursday. How last minute indeed!

God's provision was evident..there were the usual last minute technical errors (we couldnt borrow a mixer, and the laptop was out of the question coz the church PC died). I'm thankful that Adrian & Pst Henry went the extra mile to loan us their laptops. The campsite had a decent mixer (better than the one I intended to loan), and the campsite had provided much more than expected. Praise God!

Above all, the campers were selfless and helped us in many many ways...I'm truly appreciative and touched by that gesture. While I was constantly battling the horrendous monster of slumber, God pointed out several things to me:

1) As a result of the rejection I faced as a kid and even in my teenage years, I saw it fit to be competitive. I couldnt afford to lose out, and I set high standards for myself. As a result of my low esteem levels, I could have come across as critical and unaccomodating.

2) I was often losing out on the better part. I was like Martha, who was perpetually busy with preperations and stuff, unlike Mary, who chose the better part. (biblical reference)

3) I realised I was not the only person struggling with sins-I was fighting a spritual battle along with my spritual brothers and sisters.

4) God has blessed me with unshakable joy in serving in the PA ministry.

On the final night, where a deliverance session was held, I had the privilage of praying for and crying with my brothers in repentance. We shared, we talked. I discovered many many things about each other that I would have missed if I did not come for the retreat. A big thank you to all you who've been a great source of encouragement and inspiration!

As I end off my entry, I'd like to repent of my high handedness, my low esteem, my incapablilty of being joyful and of my sins. Mould me, use me Lord!

Shalom!