the passing of 2006.

It’s a couple of days before Christmas… I don’t feel the Christmas mood. I don’t revel in shopping. Not really. I don’t hang up stockings all over my place and expect Santa to come fill em up. I dont.

I woke up this morning with a backache. I was trying to wonder what I did that could have caused the backache. and I remembered. I was doing a hand wash for my new shirt.

And that causes me a backache? I think I should question the first two digits of my IC number.

This year has been extremely trying in all sorts of ways. Work. Relationships. Plans for the future, and even my spiritual life. As mentioned, 2006 was indeed a rough year. I can almost say that my faith was really tested this year.

2006 was also a year of soul searching, a time of questioning myself and my motives, and what I wanted to do. Wait, is it what I want to do, or what I want to do for the Lord? To be frank, I really wanted to leave the PA and VOX ministry because I felt that at certain times, that my heart was not in the right place.

Of late, I’ve been pretty burdened with the topic of passion. I will not discount the fact that gifts and talents are given from God. What is questionable is how you manage your passion. Does it end up equating to a “me only” equation?

My worry is that our passion serves to fulfil our own interests, and that it becomes our little focal of worship and adoration.

Talking to L made me see how some of us in the same faith could be so damaging. I was pretty upset to learn of what L had gone through and experienced. It is indeed the last thing I would be expected to be asked given my situation. And yet, I was reminded of what good old Tim always advocated: good relationships amongst each of us.

L, if you're reading this, I hope it touches your heart and remember always that God is with you and will continue to hold you in His loving hands. As per your confession, His love for you knows no measure!

I seriously hope that I have been a good friend and brother to all I know. I hope I won’t end up being hypocritical, rigid and superficial, and worse still, having the wrong focus behind my intent.

Nevertheless, I’m thankful for all the mercy that God has shown in my most undeserving moments, and for the encouragement that I received and is still receiving when things were really too much for me to bear and I really considered bowing out for good. Love ya all.

Christmas means a lot to me this year. I received the ultimate gift of all, beyond the oohs and ahhs of my childhood days. I experienced a love so immeasurable and unconditional, of whom I had the privilege to befriend and count on. I received the gift of Christ.

Will you receive?