undecidedly weary.

Nice.

The event poster. Indeed, its a time for praise and thanksgiving, no matter how rotten your life may seem to be.



Yet another toy to my collection, courtesy of Shang. Some of you might have heard that I really want to own a Bose system and drive a Benz :) Well, part of the equation is complete, although I am still persuading the Bose system to emerge out of hibernation mode .

48 hours after Christmas, I must say that I'm still really tired out from having spent over 30 hrs in church over Saturday, Sunday and Monday setting up for, rehearsing, and mixing for the entire Christmas project for my church.

I dare say I've carried more stuff in all my ministry years put together in three days. A team of four from the sound team laid cables, placed the speakers in place, and were literally on their toes the entire day to make sure that the event ran well. Oh well, the joys of serving in this ministry indeed.

Nonetheless, I was glad that the opportunity really opened my eyes. Its wonderful to see how we, from different giftings and walks of life, have come together to present our best for the Lord. I was glad to have worked with ZhiZhen, Chai Heng, Esther, Han Wei and Jeffrey, who, in my opinion, are indeed promising musical talents!Man...I wished I could be like them at times.
And there were so many others from the Chinese congregation, like George and Joseph, who I'd never have the chance to know if I was not involved.

On another hand, I got to play with Bose speakers and a Mackie mixer. Its opened my world up and I'm glad to be able to lay my hands on such stuff!

As usual, I received my fair share of trials, criticism and frustrations while serving for this event. I guess its give and take. Working with others allowed me to have a clearer idea of their expectations and working styles, and it has certainly helped me in deciding if we should work together in the future. Hush on that.

It gets to me at times indeed. I kind of made a resolution that I would not serve in the PA ministry for any of the big events for the next year. I just felt a need for me to step back and find time to sit with my cell members, with the members of the congregation, and not get overly involved. But like what thend and earthdust and stardust II says, I often fail to listen to my own advice.

Oh well. Physician, heal thyself?

Having a chat with Armstrong last night was really an encouragement. James delivered a very powerful rendition of the song "I'm amazed" for two shows in a row, and I must say that I am indeed amazed by how God uses each and every one of us in ways we never thought possible. In my moments of despair and weariness, God sent this brother to minister to me and I am indeed thankful.

I'm also thankful to my usual gang for tirelessly administering God's love and grace, as well as lending a good ear when I really felt like shooting some people straight on their feet.

Indeed God is amazing. The reality and majesty of God just wants to make me contemplate my life, to continually check my heart, and motives. What would I want Him to say, and think of me, when I eventually stand in front of Him?

To me, that is the questions that I will live with.

As 2006 draws to an end, may 2007 be a year full of purpose and development for each and every one of us.

Blessed Christmas and new year!

the passing of 2006.

It’s a couple of days before Christmas… I don’t feel the Christmas mood. I don’t revel in shopping. Not really. I don’t hang up stockings all over my place and expect Santa to come fill em up. I dont.

I woke up this morning with a backache. I was trying to wonder what I did that could have caused the backache. and I remembered. I was doing a hand wash for my new shirt.

And that causes me a backache? I think I should question the first two digits of my IC number.

This year has been extremely trying in all sorts of ways. Work. Relationships. Plans for the future, and even my spiritual life. As mentioned, 2006 was indeed a rough year. I can almost say that my faith was really tested this year.

2006 was also a year of soul searching, a time of questioning myself and my motives, and what I wanted to do. Wait, is it what I want to do, or what I want to do for the Lord? To be frank, I really wanted to leave the PA and VOX ministry because I felt that at certain times, that my heart was not in the right place.

Of late, I’ve been pretty burdened with the topic of passion. I will not discount the fact that gifts and talents are given from God. What is questionable is how you manage your passion. Does it end up equating to a “me only” equation?

My worry is that our passion serves to fulfil our own interests, and that it becomes our little focal of worship and adoration.

Talking to L made me see how some of us in the same faith could be so damaging. I was pretty upset to learn of what L had gone through and experienced. It is indeed the last thing I would be expected to be asked given my situation. And yet, I was reminded of what good old Tim always advocated: good relationships amongst each of us.

L, if you're reading this, I hope it touches your heart and remember always that God is with you and will continue to hold you in His loving hands. As per your confession, His love for you knows no measure!

I seriously hope that I have been a good friend and brother to all I know. I hope I won’t end up being hypocritical, rigid and superficial, and worse still, having the wrong focus behind my intent.

Nevertheless, I’m thankful for all the mercy that God has shown in my most undeserving moments, and for the encouragement that I received and is still receiving when things were really too much for me to bear and I really considered bowing out for good. Love ya all.

Christmas means a lot to me this year. I received the ultimate gift of all, beyond the oohs and ahhs of my childhood days. I experienced a love so immeasurable and unconditional, of whom I had the privilege to befriend and count on. I received the gift of Christ.

Will you receive?