Looking ahead??? hmm

Life's stressed is life's desserts. One of my pals quoted this in his blog and it caught my eye. This saying is not new to me but I fail to see how it can be associated with anything nice. Perhaps its all about perception.

Its been ten days since I last blogged. The last ten days were full of rush hours and bit by bit, I see my workload snowballing and turning into some huge snowball that will get the better of me sooner or later. What used to be a initially great job feels completely undesirable now. I used to think that I could be able to hold on to this job right up to the start of school in end Oct, but I seriously have other thoughts right now. I guess I'll just move on out of the job, out of that compartment in the office right after my contract expires.

I shall not bitch about my work here although deep in my heart, I wish that there was a way I could get back at some people on the other end of the line, like say something sacarstic and help them to realise that the world's not just about themselves.

I'm seizing the opportunity to blog here today given the fact that I'm on leave after two long days of overtime, and in view of the crazy thursday, friday and saturday to come.

Ten days of pure struggles did nothing for my already beaten soul. Day by day, I hate to admit it but I'm getting discouraged. It has actually hit a point where I was so vunerable that every wrong thing that came my way became a big threat to my already injured ego and it certainly wasnt a good feeling. Once more, I see myself failing to involve God in my work and my daily encounters, but invloving God sometimes feels like an uphill struggle rather than one that one should do gladly.

The only consolation I have are the friends that I have made in the department over the course of my work. My lunch hours suddenly feel so precious...the one hour in the day that I can rest my vocal chords and reduce my chances of getting high blood pressure. This jobline requires more stamina than I thought.

I happened to chat with a fellow collegue that had been working in the callcentre for ten years. I was shocked at the duration of her workyears there, and how she managed to stay there for that long. I even added that I was just approaching my second month here, and I was already gettin tired of all the nonsence there. It was a great encouragement to hear her say that she felt that I was doing well.

Not getting scolded by people early in the morning today and having the luxury of time to spend the entire day with my brother is really refreshing. It also just goes to show how hard working life can be. Well, on the brighter side of perspective, it develops me I guess. Workin hard and saving hard for school is no easy feat, and I guess this is God's way of telling me to be careful of my expenditures and the way I spend.

Last Sunday, I had the opportunity to lend a ear to T as he shared. As much as I was honoured, I was glad because T repaid the favor and lend me a really pair of enduring ears to listen to as well. Suddenly, I realised that I wasnt the only one having problems at work, and it was certainly time to do something about all these negativity in me.

Looking ahead and striving to run the race looks like such an obstacle to overcome for my weay soul, but I guess I'm not done with yet. For those who're reading this, please keep me in your prayers.

Much appreciated!

**FD**