DoubLE EnTRY

Too burnt out after a day of cleaning on Friday, so I didnt really make it to update this. Slept till 9am today...thats late, considering the fact that I slept at 12 plus last night.

At this moment, I'm in a pretty pissed mood.My heart goes out to my mom. She's been busy with a project assigned to her and that has tied her up since last year. It just makes me sick to think of the way the world works at times, the hardworking gets the shitload and those who slack seem to get away from it. I've seen it happen in my previous camp, the hardworking ones are overworked and those who are not seem to have an easy life. Its repulsive. My only comfort is our accountability to God in situations like these.

I'm thankful my mom's a christian. I believe that God will uphold and provide for her in the midst of all these madness. She arrived home at 12midnight last night, left for work at 6 this morning and has yet to return home (read, im entering this at 6.49PM!). Best of all, she has to work tomorrow (Sunday), thanks to some freakshit's screwup. WHAT IS THIS?!?!

As I closed my eyes last night, I prayed that God will provide for her mentally, physically and in health to tide over this busy period. Then again, the same struggle hits me, I'm resentful for what that OLD MAN has done to us. All the unecessary struggle and trauma caused single handedly by a selfish person.

You know WHO YOU ARE.

Yet amidst all these, I have learnt. I have grown in many ways unimaginable, and God help me never to end like that ever.

Worries, worries worries. The bible tells us not to worry about tomorrow, but in times like this, its an enormously uphill struggle for me.

Teck Wee, I hope you're reading this, because I want you to take comfort in the fact that we all face struggles of our own, yet we are here to help each other grow.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you are faced with trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverancance must finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, and not lacking in anything" James 1:2-4

Mom, this is for you and myself. Looks like I've answered my own question once more.

On a happier note, I ended up doing backups for the first time. I was supposed to just be there to setup for Shao, Violet's and Julia's reheasal, but ended singing alongside with them. Had tons of cold feet (although it was just the four of us!) but warmed up soon enough thanks to the generosity of the threesome. Tomorrow looks set to be my first "appearance", God help me with that!

Yes, its gonna be the first time anyone's seeing me wearing s shirt and trousers to church =P. Well, thank you Shao, Violet and Julia for your tolerance, encouragement and guidance,your friendship and for this opportunity!

This has really gotta be a double entry. I started off on an extremely negative note, but ended with a positive one.

Pam Ang.. it was at least seven years ago when you encouraged me to start a journal to express my feelings and in the process, derive learning points. I shrugged off your suggestion then as I was skeptical, and now I've come to agree with what you said!

Peace out!