Things have been happening lately that somehow pushed me into this state of mind I'm in, of confusion, struggles and fear.
This week, I struggled alot with my temper. I wasnt nagged so much at, but I was really driven up the wall by the attitudes of some people.
Monday and tuesday seemed like they took 96 hours rather than 48 hours. With that state of mind, I was constantly in deep thought and reflection. I kept thinking of the past...how things took place and finally ended up like that
I struggle with my faith. I find it hard to comprehend how I could really pull through this two more months without smashing the monitor or just throwing in the towel. Know how I feel?
My close collegue got sacked on Tues and that really shook me. I started getting paranoid. I heard of rumours that two temp staff were coming in to replace "us". I was expecting myself to be the next to go. However, I was on leave on Wednesday, so I told my collegue to update me on any happenings.
Wednesday, a day of dust, noise and cool relief plus a blast of music finally came and went. The call never came, and I was surprised not to see my seat taken over by someone else. On the table, there was yet but another order form. God's really great at surprising me by placing order forms on my table and making sure thats the 1st thing I see on my table.
Still mentally preparing myself to be sacked, I called my agent to keep her prepared. I was surprised to hear that she doubted that I would be asked to leave and that there was no negative feedback about me. Wow.
Yet as the day passed, it was increasingly hard to focus..I was struggling and it seems like I was about to break.
I wish I could be fired yet ahead lies so many question marks.
God help me!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Monday, March 27, 2006
Suffering
Why is there suffering in this world?
I’m sure this is an oft-asked question asked by the human race, on a direct or indirect basis. Personally speaking, this is a question I don’t throw out that often, but I do have moments where I question the need to allow suffering into this world.
“Suffering” is not a bad thing in itself. Sometimes, it is what you make up of it. I take no pleasure in admitting that I do get confronted in moments that I define as suffering: inner doubts and struggles, conflict, emotional traumas etc. We may have brought suffering upon ourselves, or we might be victims of someone else’s misdemeanors.
Someone once mentioned that you do not have control of what comes crashing into you (90%), but you can CHOOSE how you respond to it (10%). While the proportion seems comically disproportionate, it is the 10% that makes the difference. You can let it ruin your day, or you can take it in your stride and enjoy the beautiful remaining moments ahead.
Last Friday, in response to several of my teammates’ disillusionment and low morale, we attended a prep talk by our training manager. Once more, I am reminded of the fact that what breaks us either kills us or makes us stronger. The choice is ours and ours alone.
It’s hard to keep check on our emotions and take things in a positive light, but we gotta try and rise up above our problems.
Sometimes the “sufferings” in your life allow you to see other things you normally don’t see. In times of bad, you can now see your true friends and family members rallying around to help and support you through your period of crisis. Helping someone to tide over their crisis while you are in your own helps you too look beyond your problems and in the process, mature in friendship and self-development.
I was fortunate enough to have great families and wonderful friends, believers and non believers alike, who listened, encouraged, and even lent a shoulder to cry own. In my own right, I hope I will be able to repay them the favor, and in a greater measure.
What matters more is not how much you have suffered, or how much are you suffering, but your ATTITUDE towards your present condition. You have the CHOICE.
And so do I.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
220306
Looking back, its been about three months since I embarked on the journey of blogging online. What I can say is that this personal little space of mine in the vast world of the internet has been close to my heart. it knows my ups and downs, my joy and sorrow, and my inner thoughts.
This blog has also helped me express myself better. My inability and my reluctance to share and open up had resulted in my heart being hardened and my emotions being suppressed. With this, I am able to better express myself (in words) and in retrospect, I do not suffer from the aftermath of suppressed feelings :P
Expressing my thoughts in writing allows me to revisit the things I write about. In times of bad, as I pen down the posts, I'm able to revisit the situation(s) from a more positive light, identify the learning points and learn from my mistakes.
I hope this site encourages those who may be facing similar situations that I'm writing about. Be hopeful.
As fast as the weekends flew by, I realise I'm typing this on a Wednesday night. My previous post was posted on a Sunday, and that was way before a very uplifting and encouraging chat I had online with Prof Shao.
What seemed like a regular chat session progressed into one where Shao shared his heart for his ministry and the vision impressed upon him. Candidly speaking, I was impressed upon with a similar vision and it was certainly exciting to know that God has teamed us up to complete this mission for Him. As much as Shao felt relieved that he wasn’t the only one who was impressed upon this responsibility, I was relieved to receive this affirmation.
On hindsight, I'm thankful that God seems to be reminding me once more that there's more to this job I'm stuck in, and that I've every reason to be excited and passionate for His works waiting to be fulfilled through me. Because of that, I learn to look beyond my problems (my work) and learn focus on the big picture.
Shao, as we work towards our mission, may our faith be strengthened and stand tall through the test of time and trials. Amen?
Monday was a relatively quiet day. As time goes by, I get to know my team mates better and better. I'm truly appreciative of their presence in my life, they're this motivating factor that makes me wanna go work. Sales was way bad for that day, but the highlight was that we (the believers in our group) actually prayed for God's intervention.
To add on to the highlight, I was actually impressed by God to pray for this particular person. Somehow, the words just flowed and I was very touched when the person affirmed that I had just prayed for his needs (without him telling me what they were).
Somehow, God seems to be using me in ways I've never known or explored before. Praying for my cell members isn’t a habit of mine, let alone my colleagues.
To top of off, I had the privilage of having dinner in town with a great bunch of bros(no pics tho). I can’t believe that we actually sat at BK for more than an hour, chatting and crapping. What a fun experience indeed...I actually suffered from tummy aches from all the prolonged laughter.
I ended Monday with a fabulous note, but more surprises awaited me on Tues. Our sales did pick up (Praise God!) and as I was just joking that I should have prayed for myself coz those I prayed for closed deals, my order forms actually came in. For deserts, I had customers calling in to ask more about the product...and I was simply blown away.
All this happened after I was harboring thoughts of getting myself fired so that I won’t have to pay the early contractual termination fees. Fergus and Adrian were two nice accommodating folks who entertained and encouraged me thru that dreary day.
Wednesday--the day where most of us suffer from the midweek crisis--came and flew past without much mayhem, but I'm counting on God for sustenance for Thurs and Fri...I'm tired!
God Bless.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Whaddya wanna be?
Good day bloggie.
Here's the weekend come and gone again SOON. This weekend's gotta be the most welcome relief to another not so likable week at work..had dinner with cell on Friday night, and went out thereafter. Without getting any sleep on Fri, I actually managed to stay out for the whole day on Saturday :)
How did I survive the past week? I was singled out, frustrated, and in my opinion, stuck in a job I didnt want to be in. I felt stigmatised by the environs..felt dejected by the times things went wrong.
Yet God's amazing grace once more pulled me thru the entire week. I feel the need to be constantly depending on Him rather than trying to achieve something with my bare hands. Unless the Lord builds the house, the workers labor in vain. This has been a verse that has been stuck in my head, and I hope I do live by that.
How do I deal with my frustration? How do I keep my anger in check, when I feel that I've been wronged? I stay calm and I try to put myself in the other's person shoes. With what I can possibily percieve as their reactions, I can better understand why the are reacting in that particular manner. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Thats #2.
Fergus sent me some interesting and useful tips on cold-calling, and I'm thankful of that. I've fowarded it to my collegues, and I hope that it helps them as much as it has benefited me. i certainly hope I'm not infringing on any copyrights here :)
Dragging my sleepy and CO clouded mind to Paradiz Centre, I attended an interesting sharing session on Saturday. While this is an area which I used to shy away from, I surprised even myself by actually looking foward to it, and to being a part of it I'm thankful for the opportunity to once more expose myself to new knowledge and opportunities. While I'm hesitant to give a straight OK to the nice folks who've invited me to be a part of their team, my answer isnt a sure NO. Heh.
The sermons covered during the past few weeks have really set my mind thinking..and pondering over facts. I struggle with evangelism as I had the opinion that I wasnt cut out for it, and that there were other ways to serve other than in the area of evangelism. Learning from the past few messages have drastically altered my perception about that subject issue.
What matters to me more is how I am living my life, and the corrective actions that I may have taken in a bid to straighten out my tangled life. I'm thankful that I've already taken off a huge rubber band off my shoulder this year,and a BIG stronghold at that.
I realise once more that it is essential that I set a good example to those around me that I may represent the body of Christ in an manner that is pleasing to God, and as an example to those around me.
This is what I wanna achieve:
1) An encouragement to others: May my words be of salt and grace, and of encouragement to others.
2) Using what God has blessed me to serve: I dont wish to put God's blessing to waste. I hope to develop my talents and use them in a righteous manner.
3) Overcoming my shyness and low self esteem: Well...I am trying :)
4) And of course, overcome my fears of evangelism.
What do you wanna be?
Here's the weekend come and gone again SOON. This weekend's gotta be the most welcome relief to another not so likable week at work..had dinner with cell on Friday night, and went out thereafter. Without getting any sleep on Fri, I actually managed to stay out for the whole day on Saturday :)
How did I survive the past week? I was singled out, frustrated, and in my opinion, stuck in a job I didnt want to be in. I felt stigmatised by the environs..felt dejected by the times things went wrong.
Yet God's amazing grace once more pulled me thru the entire week. I feel the need to be constantly depending on Him rather than trying to achieve something with my bare hands. Unless the Lord builds the house, the workers labor in vain. This has been a verse that has been stuck in my head, and I hope I do live by that.
How do I deal with my frustration? How do I keep my anger in check, when I feel that I've been wronged? I stay calm and I try to put myself in the other's person shoes. With what I can possibily percieve as their reactions, I can better understand why the are reacting in that particular manner. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Thats #2.
Fergus sent me some interesting and useful tips on cold-calling, and I'm thankful of that. I've fowarded it to my collegues, and I hope that it helps them as much as it has benefited me. i certainly hope I'm not infringing on any copyrights here :)
Dragging my sleepy and CO clouded mind to Paradiz Centre, I attended an interesting sharing session on Saturday. While this is an area which I used to shy away from, I surprised even myself by actually looking foward to it, and to being a part of it I'm thankful for the opportunity to once more expose myself to new knowledge and opportunities. While I'm hesitant to give a straight OK to the nice folks who've invited me to be a part of their team, my answer isnt a sure NO. Heh.
The sermons covered during the past few weeks have really set my mind thinking..and pondering over facts. I struggle with evangelism as I had the opinion that I wasnt cut out for it, and that there were other ways to serve other than in the area of evangelism. Learning from the past few messages have drastically altered my perception about that subject issue.
What matters to me more is how I am living my life, and the corrective actions that I may have taken in a bid to straighten out my tangled life. I'm thankful that I've already taken off a huge rubber band off my shoulder this year,and a BIG stronghold at that.
I realise once more that it is essential that I set a good example to those around me that I may represent the body of Christ in an manner that is pleasing to God, and as an example to those around me.
This is what I wanna achieve:
1) An encouragement to others: May my words be of salt and grace, and of encouragement to others.
2) Using what God has blessed me to serve: I dont wish to put God's blessing to waste. I hope to develop my talents and use them in a righteous manner.
3) Overcoming my shyness and low self esteem: Well...I am trying :)
4) And of course, overcome my fears of evangelism.
What do you wanna be?
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Everything in His time
Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and try to pray
and in the silence I can here Him say
The river runs and the river hides
out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
everything in its time.
Apologies for yesterday's lousy post. Just needed to get stuff all my chest.
Was trying to get over my disappointement and my dejection over yesterday's period of down. To be frank, I wasnt that upset anymore but I certainly wasnt expecting any miracles either.
Thats where I was completely wrong. God works in surprising ways. I'm reminded of the fact that God breaks us down so that we can come to him once more...and be reminded of his gracious mercy and grace.
Had a short briefing where we were given some feedback on our performances so far...and after that, I had a little chat with my manager. I shared about my issues and doubts, and she agreed to help me and identify where I could have went wrong.
At the end of it, she mentioned:" I havent given up on you yet, so you shouldnt be giving up on yourself."
What a shock. To be frank, I was expecting her to really holler at me...heh.
Well..what came after that was a complete surprise...I managed to "secure" a deal speaking in CHINESE.. my my my...
After lunch, I had more surprises. I had two orders coming in with payment details. It really came as such a pleasant surprise!
I'm just very thankful that God was so gracious as to have seen the struggles of my heart, and in His own manner, shown me that He still cares and not all hope is lost. Shamelessly, I had despaired in vain and almost sinned by not trusting, but He was gracious enough to have overlooked that and provided so much more.
In all, I pray that my faith will stand the test of time and circumstances, and not be wavered by such happenings.
At this point in time, I would like to thank:
1) God, for His amazing love and grace
2) The entire YP team, who have, in your own ways, kept me sane in this craziness and for being such nice folks.
3) I'm certain there exists my solid prayer warriors who upheld me in their prayers and have been a great source of encouragement. You know who you are. Thank You so much!!
Ciao
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and try to pray
and in the silence I can here Him say
The river runs and the river hides
out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
everything in its time.
Apologies for yesterday's lousy post. Just needed to get stuff all my chest.
Was trying to get over my disappointement and my dejection over yesterday's period of down. To be frank, I wasnt that upset anymore but I certainly wasnt expecting any miracles either.
Thats where I was completely wrong. God works in surprising ways. I'm reminded of the fact that God breaks us down so that we can come to him once more...and be reminded of his gracious mercy and grace.
Had a short briefing where we were given some feedback on our performances so far...and after that, I had a little chat with my manager. I shared about my issues and doubts, and she agreed to help me and identify where I could have went wrong.
At the end of it, she mentioned:" I havent given up on you yet, so you shouldnt be giving up on yourself."
What a shock. To be frank, I was expecting her to really holler at me...heh.
Well..what came after that was a complete surprise...I managed to "secure" a deal speaking in CHINESE.. my my my...
After lunch, I had more surprises. I had two orders coming in with payment details. It really came as such a pleasant surprise!
I'm just very thankful that God was so gracious as to have seen the struggles of my heart, and in His own manner, shown me that He still cares and not all hope is lost. Shamelessly, I had despaired in vain and almost sinned by not trusting, but He was gracious enough to have overlooked that and provided so much more.
In all, I pray that my faith will stand the test of time and circumstances, and not be wavered by such happenings.
At this point in time, I would like to thank:
1) God, for His amazing love and grace
2) The entire YP team, who have, in your own ways, kept me sane in this craziness and for being such nice folks.
3) I'm certain there exists my solid prayer warriors who upheld me in their prayers and have been a great source of encouragement. You know who you are. Thank You so much!!
Ciao
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
the battles within
What is the truth? Am I that far from it?I try to smile my tears away
I try to keep my cool
Oh but one more door gets in my way
I feel like such a fool
Trampled and bitter
my heart just wants to bleed and stop
believing in me
What is the truth? Am I far from it?
The battles within me rage. Part of me wants to give it all up and call it quits. The other part of me still wants to press on.
Two days of workweek's enough to drive me mad..made calls to 66 folks on monday that spoke languages I wasnt profecient in. Worse still, all those attempts got me nowhere. I'm truly truly tired and sick of all this...
Worse still, I had this really nasty person over the phone that really left me in such a foul mood that I contemplated not doing anything for the rest of the day.
Still, peace settled upon me and I found the strength to drag my weary and burderned heart, plus my unhelpful now swollen toe thru the day and to where I was supposed to be.
I found no peace today. Woke up, forgot my wallet. Was late for work, and it seems like I've been dealing with non humans but animals instead. The only reason for cheer was a encouragement SMS sent, and that was it.
On top of that, I recieved an SMS from my ex company asking of I would like to temp with them for 6 months. Heck, I wish I could just quit this freaking job and move on to somewhere with more prospects and less despair.
Perhaps Teck Wee was right. I cant depend on people to keep me going...I have to self motivate.And how do you do that when doors keep getting slammed in your face?
Perhaps I should have taken my chinese lessons more seriously. Perhaps I should have been more agrresive. Perhaps perhaps perhaps. It seems too late to do anything now.
Am I on the verge of giving up on myself? I hope not.
Dropped a note to my mgr who looked really stressed. Expressed our appreciation for her help and guidance.
You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength
to believe in me again
Goodbye.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
frayon the limping crayon
To my fella soundfolks...be careful while you walk around in slippers!
I made a big mistake wearing slippers to church today. Was setting up the system for demo when I tripped over one of the stage monitors. The aged stage monitor has several sharp edges (its not the road carpet finish they use these days) and I really had a great time trying to stop the bleeding.
Aww man. My toe is rather sore now, and I hope it wont cause too much of a problem wearing shoes....I have to!
This week passed by hard and fast. Being caught up with the expectation of the sales line is really something new and overwhelming to me. I had tension headaches for half a week, and was really munching my way throughout the entire workday.Well, the values of that of a sales person differs from mine at times. I always believed that if a buyer is ready, the sale will go through. Otherwise, it may just be a waste of time.
Some hardcore sales reps may shake their head in disagreement with what I said, but I really am not used to cornering people into committing into stuff. My approach would be to give the person some time to consider.
Oh well. That could be the reason why I hit rather low sales quotas in my course of work. Still, I thank God for the job, the working hours, and the great colleagues and manager...and NOT FORGETTING the ONE SALE i finally made! Wahaha.
Oh yeah. On wed nite, we made a pact amongst ourselves to wear RED to the call centre, and on thurs, all of us, including our manager, trainer and sales manager wore RED! It was just between us. I wonder how they got to know about it! Hahaha..the little things u can take delight in.
However, there were several great moments this week. Out of curiosity, I attended a small meeting of an MLM firm that deals with this really interesting healthcare products. For one, I was comfortable with the size of the group (it was just a few of us at this gentleman's place). Absent was the feeling of suppression and dominance usually associated with most MLM gatherings I have attended. For some reason, I felt completely at ease. These are the reasons why...
1) I had a trustworthy person sitting next to me
2) The hospitality was great, the setting was swell.
3) The speaker was extremely affable and disarming.
I not only learnt about this interesting product that they were marketing, but also drew inspiration from the speaker himself and what was discussed that day. If God wills....hahaha.
Friday was cell group...and it being at my cozy place, I looked forward to it even more so. It still amazes me how God has put do many of His unique creations to gather for a divine purpose and learn from each other. I'm inspired by each and every one of my cell members, and yes, I'm honoured to be hosting the sessions. :) My brother Leon joined us for cell, and I was really glad that he made the effort to!
We had a dear sister who made a guest appearance to share on the topic of evangelism, and I was glad to have this opportunity to have my questions answered and my doubts confronted. Indeed, I am more confident to explore in this area now, and I pray that God will continue to develop me.
Saturday....the day I hurt my toe real bad, yet one of the days I really look forward to. The week's been really mad, but I thank God for the opportunity to look beyond the workweek into the beautiful weekends. Had worship prac this noon, and it was a blessed time filled with laughter!! Well, L&E, I hope I wasnt too corny for your taste...thats what happens when I drink too much corn soup. Thanks for being patient and accommodating.
Was also greatly blessed by the time spent with James, my CL. We went to this lovely eatery to have our dinner and chatted along the way. I'm thankful for the interactions I have with all those around me! James has also been successfully infected with the "accent virus" that I've passed on to him! Hahaha..ying ge po ying ge?
What a week to weep, yet to laugh. I treasure these moments I get to laugh, and when my heart is filled with burden and when expectations heap on me, I treasure them even more so.
A few notes..
JS: SUPER glad to have you back with us!!! Yipee!!
TW and Eu: Now that your "secrets" have been revealed, the cell dosent have to sing accapella anymore.
Ad: Thanks for the exposure bro!
Vio: Thanks for being my prayer warrior!!
Kevin: Great to have you supporting me...I'd be lost without the songs..HAHA.
CL: I knew you could do it, but I'm super glad that you got this far!
To M, A, C: Thanks for all the fun on Saturday morning.
ACTS18: Way to go, brudders.
To all at YP: YOU ROCK!!
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
The Memoirs of a tele-geisha
I'm writing this with a massive headache..moments ago I just downed two Panadol Extras with coke in a bid to kill the pain in my head. Had it since noon...and its been affecting my eyesight ever since.
This isnt the first time I'm experiencing such bad headaches. It happened during my stint in SCDF...and it was so bad, I could have had headaches for a week. The shocking fact is that its sinus related. Today's episode was a classic example..I was sniffing thru the entire day and I nosebled in the shower.
Training's over and I'm into work proper. This is the first time I'm in the sales line..and making phone calls instead of people calling me. I've faxed, mailed and emailed so much in a day, more than I've ever done in any day in my entire life. I've spoken till I could finish ten bottles of water in a day and hit the loo every 30mins. The last few days saw hopes dashed, targets not met..and lots of disappointments.
My manager, who was very concerned, mentioned that my call time was low, and indicated that I should engage in longer conversations. She hoped by doing that, I could increase my sales potential. She was very encouraging throughout, but somehow I do not see the link between spending more time on calls and getting more sales.
Oh well. Maybe thats where I've failed.If thats the case, God help me to change. I think there is still a long way for me to go before I grasp the concept, and I hope that I will be given the opportunity to learn and develop.
The last few days and hours saw my stress level rise and rise and rise, but I thank God for blessinf me with a understanding manager and great collegues who were there to encourage and to uphold..you somehow feel that they are genuine and trustworthy, and not those who'd steal your deals to earn commission. I take comfort that these are the little things I still can give thanks for amidst the amounting pressure and disappointment.
Above all, I see it as a lesson, a development of faith, patience and character and I pray that God will see me through this. At times, I really wish for a life that is mine, but I am very much reminded that life is a learning journey and the Refiner's fire is at work within us.
I'd like to thank all those around me who have in your own special ways, kept me going, from encouaraging and assuring me, and even keeping me busy with other commitments(work is not everything). I hope my post will be an encouragement to those, who, in their own way, are ascending their huge mountain.
bless ya
Fraser JOE
This isnt the first time I'm experiencing such bad headaches. It happened during my stint in SCDF...and it was so bad, I could have had headaches for a week. The shocking fact is that its sinus related. Today's episode was a classic example..I was sniffing thru the entire day and I nosebled in the shower.
Training's over and I'm into work proper. This is the first time I'm in the sales line..and making phone calls instead of people calling me. I've faxed, mailed and emailed so much in a day, more than I've ever done in any day in my entire life. I've spoken till I could finish ten bottles of water in a day and hit the loo every 30mins. The last few days saw hopes dashed, targets not met..and lots of disappointments.
My manager, who was very concerned, mentioned that my call time was low, and indicated that I should engage in longer conversations. She hoped by doing that, I could increase my sales potential. She was very encouraging throughout, but somehow I do not see the link between spending more time on calls and getting more sales.
Oh well. Maybe thats where I've failed.If thats the case, God help me to change. I think there is still a long way for me to go before I grasp the concept, and I hope that I will be given the opportunity to learn and develop.
The last few days and hours saw my stress level rise and rise and rise, but I thank God for blessinf me with a understanding manager and great collegues who were there to encourage and to uphold..you somehow feel that they are genuine and trustworthy, and not those who'd steal your deals to earn commission. I take comfort that these are the little things I still can give thanks for amidst the amounting pressure and disappointment.
Above all, I see it as a lesson, a development of faith, patience and character and I pray that God will see me through this. At times, I really wish for a life that is mine, but I am very much reminded that life is a learning journey and the Refiner's fire is at work within us.
I'd like to thank all those around me who have in your own special ways, kept me going, from encouaraging and assuring me, and even keeping me busy with other commitments(work is not everything). I hope my post will be an encouragement to those, who, in their own way, are ascending their huge mountain.
bless ya
Fraser JOE
Sunday, March 05, 2006
comeback post
Heyy!!
I know it’s been donkey ages since I last updated, but having found a new job, I’ve been on course for Wed and Thursday. We were supposed to start on Friday, but things took on a slower pace. So we start on Monday.
Apologies to those who have waited. I’m excited about this new job; it’s an answered prayer to me. I hoped for an office hour job, so as to be able to serve in the sound and vocalist ministry for church. This job is something new as it involves telesales, but the pay’s pretty good, and there’s commission for sales. Above all, I believe that it’s a learning experience. I get to learn some sales talk and I believe it helps me polish my communication skills and speech ability.
The first day wasn’t scary at all. At least there were some folks who were of my age and day by day, we progressed in friendship. Well, it’s comforting to know that you’d probably face tough customers, but you still have a group of pals and a manager to fall back on. Above all, I place my faith in God for guidance and providence. On Thurs noon, I risked going to town for lunch and ended being late for my training session! Thank goodness I didn’t miss anything that much and I wasn’t scolded.
On Friday, we had a short role play session. I was thankful to know that I didn’t perform so badly at all. I was rather worried that I would totally freeze the moment it was my turn. Having the opportunity to learn and to speak in public certainly comes in useful in times like these.
On Saturday, I had a blast of a time cycling with Mel and YY. We took the connecting routes from Bishan and ended up at Kallang before we decided to head backwards. Cycling is one hot passion of mine and I’m really glad to have cycled with the company of two great folks. Melvin…u ROCK! Haha. I’m super thankful that I had to chance to enjoy my cycling trip before embarking on my job proper. Thank God!
Today, I attended this short course on opportunities for sound engineers today with a great ol pal of mine from SCDF. I was greatly encouraged to hear that there were many opportunities for the aspiring sound engineers today, and that the school that I am intending to pursue my studies with was labeled as an excellent institute of learning, by this top notch audio engineer himself. Had a great time after that, just walking around and catching up. ABG Nas! You’re the man. You can do it.
Above all, I pray that God will grant me a humble heart, that I may continue to serve in church out of humility, and continue to be used by God in His amazing ways.
Cheers!
I know it’s been donkey ages since I last updated, but having found a new job, I’ve been on course for Wed and Thursday. We were supposed to start on Friday, but things took on a slower pace. So we start on Monday.
Apologies to those who have waited. I’m excited about this new job; it’s an answered prayer to me. I hoped for an office hour job, so as to be able to serve in the sound and vocalist ministry for church. This job is something new as it involves telesales, but the pay’s pretty good, and there’s commission for sales. Above all, I believe that it’s a learning experience. I get to learn some sales talk and I believe it helps me polish my communication skills and speech ability.
The first day wasn’t scary at all. At least there were some folks who were of my age and day by day, we progressed in friendship. Well, it’s comforting to know that you’d probably face tough customers, but you still have a group of pals and a manager to fall back on. Above all, I place my faith in God for guidance and providence. On Thurs noon, I risked going to town for lunch and ended being late for my training session! Thank goodness I didn’t miss anything that much and I wasn’t scolded.
On Friday, we had a short role play session. I was thankful to know that I didn’t perform so badly at all. I was rather worried that I would totally freeze the moment it was my turn. Having the opportunity to learn and to speak in public certainly comes in useful in times like these.
On Saturday, I had a blast of a time cycling with Mel and YY. We took the connecting routes from Bishan and ended up at Kallang before we decided to head backwards. Cycling is one hot passion of mine and I’m really glad to have cycled with the company of two great folks. Melvin…u ROCK! Haha. I’m super thankful that I had to chance to enjoy my cycling trip before embarking on my job proper. Thank God!
Today, I attended this short course on opportunities for sound engineers today with a great ol pal of mine from SCDF. I was greatly encouraged to hear that there were many opportunities for the aspiring sound engineers today, and that the school that I am intending to pursue my studies with was labeled as an excellent institute of learning, by this top notch audio engineer himself. Had a great time after that, just walking around and catching up. ABG Nas! You’re the man. You can do it.
Above all, I pray that God will grant me a humble heart, that I may continue to serve in church out of humility, and continue to be used by God in His amazing ways.
Cheers!
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
A new chapter
I woke up at 9am to the tune of Mariah's "We Belong Together" playing on my phone. It was a call from my agent, informing me that I was selected for the job that I went for the interview yesterday.
It took me some time to absorb it. After a period of trying, I finally came to this positive conclusion.
Three months of cold calls, development of character, patience testing and building up of communication skills will soon come. I believe this is an opportunity for me to train up for bigger things to come, and God bless me.
Lookin back at the interview yesterday, it was really amazing. I'm thankful that I wore shirt and pants, (altho jeans were supposed to be ok). Everyone else was dressed equally professionally! I was nervous while waiting for my turn, but I believe that God's comfort was upon me as I sat there.
I was also asked to elaborate on my previous job experiences, the good times and the bad. Was also asked on my opinions of a good telemarketer, and how confident I was of the company's product.
To which I related my experiences, and I sincerely told her that I favoured the company's product over searching for information over the Web.
When she ended by asking me if I had any questions, I asked her on what the company's product was (I realised she had not mentioned abt it). She told me:"I'm glad you asked", and proceeded to explain.
After twenty long minutes, she( the interviewer) drew a close by saving that she was "impressed by me". We had a super firm handshake after that, but I wasnt sure that I would land the job till the fateful call this morning.
Looking back, it amazes me that how God could really work in us. I came as a nervous and inexperienced interviewee, but somehow the words and the responses just flowed.
Praise God.
As I look towards the next three months, Thy will be done!
To all those who have prayed alongside with me, thank you so much!
Ciao
Fraser
It took me some time to absorb it. After a period of trying, I finally came to this positive conclusion.
Three months of cold calls, development of character, patience testing and building up of communication skills will soon come. I believe this is an opportunity for me to train up for bigger things to come, and God bless me.
Lookin back at the interview yesterday, it was really amazing. I'm thankful that I wore shirt and pants, (altho jeans were supposed to be ok). Everyone else was dressed equally professionally! I was nervous while waiting for my turn, but I believe that God's comfort was upon me as I sat there.
I was also asked to elaborate on my previous job experiences, the good times and the bad. Was also asked on my opinions of a good telemarketer, and how confident I was of the company's product.
To which I related my experiences, and I sincerely told her that I favoured the company's product over searching for information over the Web.
When she ended by asking me if I had any questions, I asked her on what the company's product was (I realised she had not mentioned abt it). She told me:"I'm glad you asked", and proceeded to explain.
After twenty long minutes, she( the interviewer) drew a close by saving that she was "impressed by me". We had a super firm handshake after that, but I wasnt sure that I would land the job till the fateful call this morning.
Looking back, it amazes me that how God could really work in us. I came as a nervous and inexperienced interviewee, but somehow the words and the responses just flowed.
Praise God.
As I look towards the next three months, Thy will be done!
To all those who have prayed alongside with me, thank you so much!
Ciao
Fraser
Monday, February 27, 2006
thanksgiving.
I'm heading down to YellowPages later for a job interview as a cust care pers. And because I may be doing some sales, I get a commission on top of my basic pay. I work office hours (Maybe Saturdays as well) and best of all....its near my place!
What more can I ask for? I hope I get it. Wednesday will be my first day then.
PTL!
What more can I ask for? I hope I get it. Wednesday will be my first day then.
PTL!
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Dots...
Am I selfish?
I feel that I am. What happened was that we were sharing our prayer requests during cell on Friday, and it suddenly hit me that my prayers were self centered. Many of my cell members prayed for empowerment to be more effective servants for God. As for me, my prayers focused more on my needs, e.g. finding a good job, favor amongst people etc etc.
Truly, I feel that I have come to be selfish. The desire to serve God in areas of reaching out to people and witnessing seem foreign to me these days. Its been lightyears since I prayed for empowerment and blessings in this area. I dont know why, but this feeling suddenly struck me out of the blue and I felt accused. It was literally a slap to the face.
Oh well. Perhaps its time I do some soul searching, to question myself, to push myself to seek God's direction in this area of ministry. Perhaps its time to break out of my comfort zone, and develop myself in this area. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
On another note, I felt encouraged that Mien put in alot of effort into completing her BS homework despite her crazy work schedule. Way to go sis!
Eugene, James, Teck Wee ,Adrian and Kelvin, thanks for hearing me out and expressing your opinions to my thoughts and for your encouragement.
Here comes Saturday, and I'm having a run at Serangoon with TW in the early hours of the morning. We had a great time working out our lungs, and had a LIVE reanactment of Brokeback Mountains. For details, go smile at Teck Wee!
Whatever it was, I think we're allergic to people wearing skimpy red singlets now.
Spent the afternoon at this lovely tea house along Neil Road, and thats where we sat down to appreciate chinese tea and made use of the occasion to celebrate the birthday of a close family friend. The Chinese tea culture is interesting as it comes, and offers a welcome respite from my daily routine of English tea, coffee and Coke.
I'd like to go chill out at this place once more with the company of friends.
I'm ending this post here because I need to rest early, kinda injured my back doing log lifting the wrong way, and I'm now having a sneak preview of how it feels like to be seventy with all the body and back aches.
Some special notes:
CL: Glad to know you're back safe. May the good Lord continue to bless and watch over you and all at home.
J.S : PLEASE keep us updated so we can uphold you in prayer.
Apologies for the lousy post.
I feel that I am. What happened was that we were sharing our prayer requests during cell on Friday, and it suddenly hit me that my prayers were self centered. Many of my cell members prayed for empowerment to be more effective servants for God. As for me, my prayers focused more on my needs, e.g. finding a good job, favor amongst people etc etc.
Truly, I feel that I have come to be selfish. The desire to serve God in areas of reaching out to people and witnessing seem foreign to me these days. Its been lightyears since I prayed for empowerment and blessings in this area. I dont know why, but this feeling suddenly struck me out of the blue and I felt accused. It was literally a slap to the face.
Oh well. Perhaps its time I do some soul searching, to question myself, to push myself to seek God's direction in this area of ministry. Perhaps its time to break out of my comfort zone, and develop myself in this area. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
On another note, I felt encouraged that Mien put in alot of effort into completing her BS homework despite her crazy work schedule. Way to go sis!
Eugene, James, Teck Wee ,Adrian and Kelvin, thanks for hearing me out and expressing your opinions to my thoughts and for your encouragement.
Here comes Saturday, and I'm having a run at Serangoon with TW in the early hours of the morning. We had a great time working out our lungs, and had a LIVE reanactment of Brokeback Mountains. For details, go smile at Teck Wee!
Whatever it was, I think we're allergic to people wearing skimpy red singlets now.
Spent the afternoon at this lovely tea house along Neil Road, and thats where we sat down to appreciate chinese tea and made use of the occasion to celebrate the birthday of a close family friend. The Chinese tea culture is interesting as it comes, and offers a welcome respite from my daily routine of English tea, coffee and Coke.
I'd like to go chill out at this place once more with the company of friends.
I'm ending this post here because I need to rest early, kinda injured my back doing log lifting the wrong way, and I'm now having a sneak preview of how it feels like to be seventy with all the body and back aches.
Some special notes:
CL: Glad to know you're back safe. May the good Lord continue to bless and watch over you and all at home.
J.S : PLEASE keep us updated so we can uphold you in prayer.
Apologies for the lousy post.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Durians on my head
Tanjong Pagar!
The Fullerton by day. Cant wait to go down by night to capture the sights!
B&W Shot of the Esplanades..I like.YO!
I'm writing this as I've just completed some basic weight lifting regime of mine. Simple sets of lifting done over an extended period of time keeps my arms in shape. Its bad that I'm skinny enough..haha. Nah. I'm just excercising to keep my health in check.
I didnt realise how Esplanadish my hair could be until I went for a haircut today...and I realised that my hair loves to stand up. Even the hairdresser says so, and I guess I'd have to use more wax then anyone else to keep it in control :P
Today was one of the most eventful day I had over the past few months. I woke up a little earlier to the call of my agent giving me a buzz. Yes, she had found a job position that I could possibly fill up and asked me over for an interview.I literally rushed down to town to attend.
I was VERY thankful that this time round, it wasnt the case of an MLM company, but that of a stat board. In the midst of my interview, I opened another door for an opoortunity for me to work in a telco company.The pay is GOOD!
These two jobs may require long hours and may eat into my weekends. While I dont mind working late on Mondays to thursdays and attend cell on Fridays, I'm worried about the weekends.
For those who know me well, Saturdays are housework days and Sundays are reserved for family and church. Sundays are more important to me now that I'm involved in two ministries that require active participation.
Well, I've worked retail hours before. Its not so bad but the hours are rather haphazardous.
I'm stuck. Dont wanna leave Melvin, my other team member in the PA team alone. God, please provide in this area of my ministries.On top of that, I've this important project I've been helping in. :P
On another hand, I'm very thankful that my prayers in this area have been more or less answered. To my friends who are in this process too, I wish ya the very best!
A big thanks to those of you who have been so generously kind and remembering me in your prayers. In return, let me pray for you. Haha...
Blessings always
Fraser
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Speak Chinese!
Hi peeps.
Its been three days since I last updated this site. I intended to do so last night(since I normally create new entry every two days) but I was way too caught up to do that last night.
Spent the last few days (and nights) looking up job offers on the Net, the papers and by word. To date, I think I have sent almost eight resumes so far.Doinks. This has gotta be the only time I sent so much resumes and have yet to get a job. Argh.
Yesterday, I was initially excited as I made my way to Raffles place for a job interview. All the applications I've filled up so far were for administrative duties. Little did I expect that I had actually stepped into an MLM company yesterday, until I spoke with the manager and he started by asking me "So do you intend to start your own business?"
While I was pretty turned off and I wanted to walk right outta the place there and then, I decided that I would give myself a chance and listen to what they had to offer. Oh well. Throughout the presentation, I was filled with doubts here and there, but I didnt make the effort to clarify since I wasnt interested in the product in the first place. I was pretty impressed by the staff though. At a young age, most of them have been exposed to sales and marketing techniques. It shows, really.
MLM isnt such a bad thing as I may have made it sound here. It has its merits, but people like me are bound to fail miserably in this line. For privacy's sake, I shall not name the company.
Upon my exit, I immediately messaged my buddy AK to tell him that I chanced upon this MLM company. I asked him if he was interested, and his response shocked me. "No thanks, I hate MLM". Muahaha.
Seeing how beautiful the scenery was, I walked back from Raffles to City Hall, with music blasting in my ears as I partook in the beautiful sights. The sun was setting and it casted this orange glow across the horizon.
Mind you, there are still simple pleasures in life we can indulge in (like these) instead of working non stop and ending up in ICU.
Bumped into S.C, and old HQ buddy of mine at Citylink. Well, he's started his events management company, and he seems to be doing well now. I shared with him about my job search and he offered to take me in. I expressed my interest, but I'm still keeping the job searching process active.I REALLY hope it comes thru. God, I'm counting on You!
While waiting to have dinner with a mature and level headed fellow accomplice of mine,(muahaha) I managed to steal some time to talk with this guy who runs his own music shop selling instruments and equipments. I was glad to know what I've drawn up so far aint so ridiculously absurd that it deserves the trash can. While chatting, he shared with me about incidences that took place where musicians did not get along with their PA crew. What a pity. In my opinion, I'd love to work with musicians and I think its of paramount importance that this two teams understand each other.
I thank God that relationships in my church is not tested in such a manner and I pray that that will never be the case.
Wednesday...the day of "midweek crisis" indeed. I was still bothered by yesterday's events, and I sent out a few more resumes this morning. In church, I was glad I managed to help the admin staff with some of their paperwork.
One thing about my church is that its so close knit, and there's this lovely thing about it..The church is literally built on the Pastor's, the admin staff's and the members' hands. Everyone is precious, loved and recognised.
I'm also deeply touched by the fact that so many people (pastors, staff and those I know of) in church went out of their way to encourage me and uphold me in their prayers at this point of time. To all the folks of 20 Lorong Ah Soo, #03-05, I appreciate your concern and prayers!
I had the privilage of having lunch with the folks from the Chinese team. I usually shy away from them because of my language barrier(READ: I DONT REALLY JIANG HUA YU). Its hard for me to complete one proper sentence in Mandarin when I'm involved in profound discussions. Well, that was what I faced today. Throughout lunch, I stumbled with my command of Mandarin, and there were times I had to lapse into English to reply. Wahaha. It was certainly a really funny moment, but I'm thankful for the opportunity to get to know more people from the chinese side. They are a great bunch of folks indeed.
Coming back home, I had THREE calls from the agencies I sent my resumes to. If all goes well, there goes my unemployment blues. God..u hear this? Haha!
Chatted with my replacement Joshy online for sometime...I'm thankful for this wonderful godsend replacement..he's responsible and trustworthy. A rare find indeed, and I'm thankful for his friends who believe in him. :)
Before I pen off, some food for thought. Are we seekers of the truth, or do we let the truth seek us? Someone will be smiling when he sees this line.
Love ya all.
Its been three days since I last updated this site. I intended to do so last night(since I normally create new entry every two days) but I was way too caught up to do that last night.
Spent the last few days (and nights) looking up job offers on the Net, the papers and by word. To date, I think I have sent almost eight resumes so far.Doinks. This has gotta be the only time I sent so much resumes and have yet to get a job. Argh.
Yesterday, I was initially excited as I made my way to Raffles place for a job interview. All the applications I've filled up so far were for administrative duties. Little did I expect that I had actually stepped into an MLM company yesterday, until I spoke with the manager and he started by asking me "So do you intend to start your own business?"
While I was pretty turned off and I wanted to walk right outta the place there and then, I decided that I would give myself a chance and listen to what they had to offer. Oh well. Throughout the presentation, I was filled with doubts here and there, but I didnt make the effort to clarify since I wasnt interested in the product in the first place. I was pretty impressed by the staff though. At a young age, most of them have been exposed to sales and marketing techniques. It shows, really.
MLM isnt such a bad thing as I may have made it sound here. It has its merits, but people like me are bound to fail miserably in this line. For privacy's sake, I shall not name the company.
Upon my exit, I immediately messaged my buddy AK to tell him that I chanced upon this MLM company. I asked him if he was interested, and his response shocked me. "No thanks, I hate MLM". Muahaha.
Seeing how beautiful the scenery was, I walked back from Raffles to City Hall, with music blasting in my ears as I partook in the beautiful sights. The sun was setting and it casted this orange glow across the horizon.
Mind you, there are still simple pleasures in life we can indulge in (like these) instead of working non stop and ending up in ICU.
Bumped into S.C, and old HQ buddy of mine at Citylink. Well, he's started his events management company, and he seems to be doing well now. I shared with him about my job search and he offered to take me in. I expressed my interest, but I'm still keeping the job searching process active.I REALLY hope it comes thru. God, I'm counting on You!
While waiting to have dinner with a mature and level headed fellow accomplice of mine,(muahaha) I managed to steal some time to talk with this guy who runs his own music shop selling instruments and equipments. I was glad to know what I've drawn up so far aint so ridiculously absurd that it deserves the trash can. While chatting, he shared with me about incidences that took place where musicians did not get along with their PA crew. What a pity. In my opinion, I'd love to work with musicians and I think its of paramount importance that this two teams understand each other.
I thank God that relationships in my church is not tested in such a manner and I pray that that will never be the case.
Wednesday...the day of "midweek crisis" indeed. I was still bothered by yesterday's events, and I sent out a few more resumes this morning. In church, I was glad I managed to help the admin staff with some of their paperwork.
One thing about my church is that its so close knit, and there's this lovely thing about it..The church is literally built on the Pastor's, the admin staff's and the members' hands. Everyone is precious, loved and recognised.
I'm also deeply touched by the fact that so many people (pastors, staff and those I know of) in church went out of their way to encourage me and uphold me in their prayers at this point of time. To all the folks of 20 Lorong Ah Soo, #03-05, I appreciate your concern and prayers!
I had the privilage of having lunch with the folks from the Chinese team. I usually shy away from them because of my language barrier(READ: I DONT REALLY JIANG HUA YU). Its hard for me to complete one proper sentence in Mandarin when I'm involved in profound discussions. Well, that was what I faced today. Throughout lunch, I stumbled with my command of Mandarin, and there were times I had to lapse into English to reply. Wahaha. It was certainly a really funny moment, but I'm thankful for the opportunity to get to know more people from the chinese side. They are a great bunch of folks indeed.
Coming back home, I had THREE calls from the agencies I sent my resumes to. If all goes well, there goes my unemployment blues. God..u hear this? Haha!
Chatted with my replacement Joshy online for sometime...I'm thankful for this wonderful godsend replacement..he's responsible and trustworthy. A rare find indeed, and I'm thankful for his friends who believe in him. :)
Before I pen off, some food for thought. Are we seekers of the truth, or do we let the truth seek us? Someone will be smiling when he sees this line.
Love ya all.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Beautiful Sunday
This is Max, one of the cutest cats I've ever seen.Worship: A lifestyle that transcends beyond your time spent in church on Sundays, trials, circumstances and moments of despair.
These were the words that struck me most while I sat and listened to the sermon today. It’s not something new that’s unheard of, but I wonder how many times I have actually existed as a beyond Sunday Christian and actually lived my life right and according to God’s standards.Friday’s cell group session was once more amazingly in full attendance. We had a great time having dinner at Sumo Bento before heading to my place for cell. In times like these, I’m like greatly touched by the presence of each and every loving individual of this spiritual family that I’m blessed with. Aww.. We went paperless for the first time, not with a hundred percent success, but then again, there’s a first time to everything!
At times, I wish I REALLY had the space to open up my place for cell group meetings all the way, and not be so restricted by timings (at least have a bigger room that fits my cell, haha).
Eugene, thanks for the nice card, the message and the encouragement!
As I chatted with Kelvin the night before, and with Teck Wee who came over to my house to rehearse, I’m so very reminded that there are plenty of things to focus and rejoice in other than being financially powerful and not having to worry about finances again.
Of course, these things should have never have taken priority in my life at all… but somehow along the way…Heh. Was very encouraged by what a sister (C.N) shared with me on Saturday. Somehow, my worries didn’t seem so big after all.
Following my previous entry, (where I prayed that I’d learn to take things easy)I thank God that I was supremely calm and collected during the preparations for cell and on this Sunday. I’ve learnt to be more relaxed and less tensed up when I have something upcoming, though I am still every bit the clean freak that I am .I hope this is a turning point for one of the strongholds in my life J
As I end off one of the shortest posts in my blog ever, I’m thankful.
P.S : Some of you couldnt comment previously, but I've laxed on the commentary restrictions.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
30 days of self reflection
The pictures here sets the tone for the 15th and 16th Feb. 15th Feb is the day I'd celebrate my first month of freedom at last :)
Wasnt in the mood for celebration of any sort when I woke up, though. My back was aching badly because of the number of falls I took while turning and tossing from the bed. It was 10am yesterday when I sent three resumes to various companies in the hope of getting employed real soon..:P
This Friday, I'm leading WS for cell, singing for WS on Sunday, and as I type this, I've yet to complete my BS homework. Heh. The business causes me joy in a way. As I prepare the powerpoints for my cell's worship (we're going paperless, as you can see in the screen), listen and learn the songs for this Sunday's session and even clean up my place later, I'm reminded of how God could use "insignificant" people like me for His works. Its pretty amazing and gratifying at the same time. For once, I'm learning to take it easy and enjoy myself as I'm working thru all this.
I've have had the company of two great folks in town yesterday. Seeing them wearing almost identically colored shirts and pants kinda tickles me. Its swell lunch, plus the "plus" of making one new friend. The cheeky side of me wants to wear a shirt of the same color this Sunday for humour's sake.
On another note, I need to remind myself to have a PLAN B for my future, as rightly brought up by Ad. Although I never believed in "putting all my eggs in one basket", I was really hard pressed to state my alternative direction. TY brudder.
At the most, I'd work towards my childhood goal: Family Law.
On a final note, I'm really over my period of despondancy bout that I suffered last week. I'm being more of myself this week. Praise God.
Lastly, this is a quote from the WEENISM of TW. It touched my heart alot, and reminded me of what truly matters and what does not. Enjoy.
true happiness is not:
1. having great material wealth
2. having a pretty girlfriend (with a volumptious figure) by your side in a posh yellow Lamboguni sport car
3. having a nice house by the seaside with full length drop down window facing the sea (plus a dog)
4.having a high paying job that people envy
5. having a nice appearance or a charismatic character
6. having great talents
True happiness is:
1. having peace in times of chaos
2. having assurance from the divine
3. having love to others and others unto you
4. knowing that it will be happy and victorious ending right from the start
5. knowing how to the enjoy the presence of the divine moment to moment of your existence
-- "The Lord gives; the Lord takes away, blessed is the name of the Lord"
My Prayer for today:
"Dear Lord, as you have blessed me with so many wonderful people in my life, empower me that I may be of a greater blessing to them."
Ciao.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
I Wish You Knew (M.C. 2005)
And how I wish you only knew
What I feel inside for you
You probably haven't got a clue
But I wish you knew
Honestly, I know it's silly of me
To want you so badly
But keep it concealed
See my inferiority complex kicks in
And the words escape me
And I'm paralyzed
So helpless when I
Look into your eyes
To J.A.L... Dont forget about us.
I'm just speaking from experience
Nothing can compare to your first true love
So I hope this will remind you
When it's for real, it's forever
So don't forget about us
Back On Track
What a fast weekend. In the last few hours, I saw myself rushing to church with my brother in tow, setting up for service and getting my dose of divine nourishment. The busy weekend kept my mind distracted from negative thoughts. Refreshing.
Looking back on all these years, its thru God's blessing that I met taz and how I was blessed with such a wonderful friend and bro, alongside with all the other wonderful folks I've met in my life. Not many, but dear enough.
For those who have been praying for me of late, thanks a million. I think I've finally purged all those thoughts of despondancy and have committed them unto the Great One. Worries bring me nowhere, I have to look foward!
Saturday, February 11, 2006
The four seasons (of the soul)
What a day indeed. In twenty four hours I've fully utilised a ticket for an emotional roller coaster ride. Wanted to update this right after coming home, but the site was down. Looking back,I believe that its God plan that I think over my thoughts before publishing this post.
I shall not elaborate on all the four seasons of the soul I've experienced, but rather the ones that I consider the most impactful ones and the learning points(on a personal basis)
It has been almost twelve hours since I last jumped out of the gates of the rollercoaster ride by praying and interceding hard for myself and some others around me. I had the privilage of indulging in a meaningful time of sharing and fellowship yesterday. I'm thankful that js,tw,jl and sy opened up to me yesterday in a way or another.
Looking at the amount of frown lines in sy's face somehow made me feel that he was heavily burdened. What he shared about during P&P made me realise that life was way fragile. After P&P, I had dinner with the rest of the team and accompanied James to his block before taking a ride home.
Through all these interactions, I could sense the struggles that each one of us were going thru at the moment. I felt really heavy at heart and burdened hearing the struggles of those around me.
Now understand that this is happening because I care for my friends and dear ones in a very personal way. Your problem, once shared with me, creates in me a sense of ownership that aims to help you to overcome it.
Compunded by my own fears and struggles, I became really despondant at one period of time while chatting online with AL and CLC. Hearing them sharing their struggles in addition to what I just heard, I really felt depressed and helpless.
Which was why I had to close my eyes for a moment or so and pray really hard that God would rise up amidst all our fears, concerns, unbeliefs and help us to overcome our problems.
God works in amazing ways..he has made me in such a way that I can feel for and relate to the struggles of those around me with one thing in mind: that I pray for them.
Which was what I am thankful I did, because I felt that God was really listening and by casting all my cares upon Him,I had affimed His Sovereignity over all thats happening in our lives.
The night wasnt easy tho. I was still so bothered over my own issues and struggles that I almost had to cry myself to sleep.
"Weeping may last thru the night, but joy comes in the morning." How apt indeed! This morning, i felt less laden and even could accompany Teck Wee for a nice jog at Serangoon. We had a great chat after that and I am thankful for this opportunity to know him so much better.
Looking back, all of us have our own set of problems, yet God has unified us that we do not grapple with our own issues alone, but we can draw comfort in the fact that we are not alone and we have others to fall on. Being spritually accountable for someone elses' problems keeps you in good spritual health. As you pray and intercede for him or her, you keep your focus fixed on God..henceforth your problems dont seem that HUGE anymore.
Its a brighter satuday, and I'm keeping myself in top shape (running, some weight lifting and swimming later). What can I say?
God: YOU ARE ABOVE ALL indeed.
AdL, CLC: Your encouragment really helped.. in the midst of my despondancy, I realised that I still had Someone to turn to. May God's hand be with you and provide for you both as you continue to truimph over your challenges.
Teck Wee: Thanks for the jog, the listening, the encouragement and even the encouragement in your postboard way back then.
JS, JL: Thanks for being open and sharing your thots. May the Lord's wisdom and joy be with you!
Mariah Carey: Its far, but your verse included in your album is really encouraging given the circumstances. God bless.
Vio: I know you are prayin for me still! Lets continue to uphold each other!
Sayonara.
I shall not elaborate on all the four seasons of the soul I've experienced, but rather the ones that I consider the most impactful ones and the learning points(on a personal basis)
It has been almost twelve hours since I last jumped out of the gates of the rollercoaster ride by praying and interceding hard for myself and some others around me. I had the privilage of indulging in a meaningful time of sharing and fellowship yesterday. I'm thankful that js,tw,jl and sy opened up to me yesterday in a way or another.
Looking at the amount of frown lines in sy's face somehow made me feel that he was heavily burdened. What he shared about during P&P made me realise that life was way fragile. After P&P, I had dinner with the rest of the team and accompanied James to his block before taking a ride home.
Through all these interactions, I could sense the struggles that each one of us were going thru at the moment. I felt really heavy at heart and burdened hearing the struggles of those around me.
Now understand that this is happening because I care for my friends and dear ones in a very personal way. Your problem, once shared with me, creates in me a sense of ownership that aims to help you to overcome it.
Compunded by my own fears and struggles, I became really despondant at one period of time while chatting online with AL and CLC. Hearing them sharing their struggles in addition to what I just heard, I really felt depressed and helpless.
Which was why I had to close my eyes for a moment or so and pray really hard that God would rise up amidst all our fears, concerns, unbeliefs and help us to overcome our problems.
God works in amazing ways..he has made me in such a way that I can feel for and relate to the struggles of those around me with one thing in mind: that I pray for them.
Which was what I am thankful I did, because I felt that God was really listening and by casting all my cares upon Him,I had affimed His Sovereignity over all thats happening in our lives.
The night wasnt easy tho. I was still so bothered over my own issues and struggles that I almost had to cry myself to sleep.
"Weeping may last thru the night, but joy comes in the morning." How apt indeed! This morning, i felt less laden and even could accompany Teck Wee for a nice jog at Serangoon. We had a great chat after that and I am thankful for this opportunity to know him so much better.
Looking back, all of us have our own set of problems, yet God has unified us that we do not grapple with our own issues alone, but we can draw comfort in the fact that we are not alone and we have others to fall on. Being spritually accountable for someone elses' problems keeps you in good spritual health. As you pray and intercede for him or her, you keep your focus fixed on God..henceforth your problems dont seem that HUGE anymore.
Its a brighter satuday, and I'm keeping myself in top shape (running, some weight lifting and swimming later). What can I say?
God: YOU ARE ABOVE ALL indeed.
AdL, CLC: Your encouragment really helped.. in the midst of my despondancy, I realised that I still had Someone to turn to. May God's hand be with you and provide for you both as you continue to truimph over your challenges.
Teck Wee: Thanks for the jog, the listening, the encouragement and even the encouragement in your postboard way back then.
JS, JL: Thanks for being open and sharing your thots. May the Lord's wisdom and joy be with you!
Mariah Carey: Its far, but your verse included in your album is really encouraging given the circumstances. God bless.
Vio: I know you are prayin for me still! Lets continue to uphold each other!
Sayonara.
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