I'm writing this with a massive headache..moments ago I just downed two Panadol Extras with coke in a bid to kill the pain in my head. Had it since noon...and its been affecting my eyesight ever since.
This isnt the first time I'm experiencing such bad headaches. It happened during my stint in SCDF...and it was so bad, I could have had headaches for a week. The shocking fact is that its sinus related. Today's episode was a classic example..I was sniffing thru the entire day and I nosebled in the shower.
Training's over and I'm into work proper. This is the first time I'm in the sales line..and making phone calls instead of people calling me. I've faxed, mailed and emailed so much in a day, more than I've ever done in any day in my entire life. I've spoken till I could finish ten bottles of water in a day and hit the loo every 30mins. The last few days saw hopes dashed, targets not met..and lots of disappointments.
My manager, who was very concerned, mentioned that my call time was low, and indicated that I should engage in longer conversations. She hoped by doing that, I could increase my sales potential. She was very encouraging throughout, but somehow I do not see the link between spending more time on calls and getting more sales.
Oh well. Maybe thats where I've failed.If thats the case, God help me to change. I think there is still a long way for me to go before I grasp the concept, and I hope that I will be given the opportunity to learn and develop.
The last few days and hours saw my stress level rise and rise and rise, but I thank God for blessinf me with a understanding manager and great collegues who were there to encourage and to uphold..you somehow feel that they are genuine and trustworthy, and not those who'd steal your deals to earn commission. I take comfort that these are the little things I still can give thanks for amidst the amounting pressure and disappointment.
Above all, I see it as a lesson, a development of faith, patience and character and I pray that God will see me through this. At times, I really wish for a life that is mine, but I am very much reminded that life is a learning journey and the Refiner's fire is at work within us.
I'd like to thank all those around me who have in your own special ways, kept me going, from encouaraging and assuring me, and even keeping me busy with other commitments(work is not everything). I hope my post will be an encouragement to those, who, in their own way, are ascending their huge mountain.
bless ya
Fraser JOE
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